Mentoring Young Adults with Making Friends:
From Online to In Real Life
By Ken Rabow
There is a particular kind of loneliness I see often now. A young adult with hundreds of friends online, active group chats, a full digital social life, and almost no one they see in person. To a parent who grew up meeting friends at the door, it can be baffling. To the young adult, the screen feels safe, and the real world feels like a test they have not studied for.
The friendships are real. The skill of turning them into face-to-face connection is what has gone unpracticed.
Here is how we build it:
1) We honor where they already are. Their online world is not the problem to be taken away. It is the strength to build from. Many of my mentees are thoughtful, funny, and loyal in text. My job is to help them carry that same self into a room.
2) We practice in small, safe steps. One phone call. One coffee. One low-stakes plan that ends on time. Confidence in real-world connection is built rep by rep, not by a pep talk.
3) We work on the inner voice that says they will not like the real me. That fear, not a lack of social skill, is usually what keeps a young adult behind the screen. Once it loosens, the friendships they already have start to move offline.
Connection is a muscle. With the right support and a little courage, it grows.
You have seen how much your child has to offer, even when the world has not seen it yet. How do I know you will be a great parent partner? You are still reading.
Thank you for taking the time to understand how I can help your child.