Mentoring Young Adults with Video Games & Screens:
The One Room Where They Still Feel Capable

When a parent talks to me about video games, the concern is almost always the same. They are on that screen sixteen hours a day. They don’t eat with us. They go to sleep when the sun is coming up.

Their laundry is all over the floor and they are behind in life.

By the time we speak, most parents have already tried taking their screens away. Router off at midnight. Console in the trunk of the car. Having to hand in their phone by midnight. It works… for about four days.

Inside the game, they know exactly what to do next. They can see their progress on a bar. They are ranked. People expect them to show up and support the team, and they do, to the sacrifice of school, real-life friends and laundry. In that world they are empowered and things work.

Now look at their real-world life. No clear steps. No bar. Nobody ranked. And if they fail, they fail in front of people whose opinion they still have to live with tomorrow. There are no extra lives.

Screens are holding their attention and their time because they are the safe place to try things, fail, and have zero judgment. That is why taking it away does not hold. You have closed the one room in the house where they feel capable, and there is no replacement to fulfil that desire: to try and not be judged.

We do not start with the gaming. We start with sleep, because a young adult who wakes at four in the afternoon has no day left to change. We shoot for 11:59 am, because then they have just woken up in the morning. Barely. But it’s a start.

Then we build into their real life what the game was already giving them. One clear next step. Progress they can see. Someone who notices every week. And a win they earned rather than one they were handed. And when things fall apart, we just reboot. “OK, how do we start again?” Until starting again feels the way it does on the screen, just another chance to find a way forward.

In our first session, we choose three goals. They direct. Their mentor guides. Progress is tracked and read back to them, because at the start they will not believe it unless they can see it.

Screen time slowly diminishes on its own because there is something else in the day they can go after and win. The sleep and the daily routines are the new game.

Most parents see the first subtle changes within a month or two. Sleep first. Then a more positive attitude in action and conversation. Then one thing done without being asked. Six months in is when a parent tells me their child came downstairs on their own, or picked up a shift. The gaming has often not stopped. It has stopped being the whole of them.

None of this says video games are bad, and none of it is about the choices you tried that didn’t get what you were hoping for. These games are built by people who are very well paid to make sure that progress bar keeps filling up.

What does this look like in your home? What have you tried, and why did it stop working?

Click here and let’s find a time for you to tell me what you are dealing with in regard to video game time and everything else that this affects in your child’s life, and I will share with you how mentoring can help.

And if you are not quite ready to talk yet, bookmark our page. Think about it. Talk to friends who have tried mentoring for their children. Read more of my articles and see if it seems like a possibility. Taking the next step to find help for your child should be done when you are ready. If you want, check out our Pricing Page, or keep reading: Why Smart Young Adults End Up Alone